Apollo 18 -- Review #JPMN

Apollo 18 (2011) "Apparently Failure was an option", 2/10. Full episodes of Movie Night, every Friday night at: http://bit.ly/JogJPMN ~~ Movie Night ~~ This "Quick Review" is an excerpt from a full episode. Incorporating viewer comments and tweets, your host and film critic Jonathan Paula reviews everything from opening day releases, recent DVDs, and classics from years past. Along with your votes, these films are scored on the "Rate-O-Matic" for a 1-10 ranking. A "Five Word Summary" quickly encapsulates each review while "Factor Facts" highlight the the best and worst features of a movie in each of ten key categories. New episodes every Friday (November through May) on the JPizzle1122 channel. Born in February 1986, Jonathan Paula is a professional YouTuber and creator of the hit web series, "Is It A Good Idea To Microwave This?". In April 2006 he founded Jogwheel Productions, a new media production company that specializes in web video. He has been reviewing films since 2003, and professionally since 2009. Jon graduated from Emerson College in 2008 with a degree in Television Production / Radio Broadcasting. He currently lives in Rockingham, NH with his wife Rebecca. ~~ Links ~~ Facebook ---------------- http://bit.ly/JonFBFan Twitter --------------------- http://bit.ly/JonTW Main Channel ----------- http://bit.ly/Jogwheel 2nd Channel ------------ http://bit.ly/JonWorld Movie Night Show ----- http://bit.ly/JogJPMN FAQ Video --------------- http://bit.ly/JogFAQv T-Shirts ------------------- http://bit.ly/JogStore ~~ Technical ~~ Created by ------ Jonathan Paula Camera ---------- Panasonic DVX-100b Microphone ----- Sennheiser ME 66 Software --------- Adobe Premiere Pro CS5 Computer ------- http://bit.ly/JAV010 • Jogwheel Productions © 2011 • ~~ Review Script ~~ Pathetically riding the coat-tails of "The Blair Witch Project", which has been old-news for a decade now, this film is built off the mind-blowing absurd premise that the 8th mission to the moon wasn't canceled, but rather deemed top-secret after the Department Of Defense wants the astronauts to place ICBM detectors on the lunar surface, incase the Soviets ever decide to attack. Perhaps even more absurd is the film-makers decision not to produce this film like a typical sci-fi horror film with a laughable premise, but as an honest-to-god documentary, built from the "recovered" footage of a space-mission that *supposedly happened*. Since neither is true, "Apollo 18" can pretty much be declared dead on liftoff. In what is obviously his first English-speaking film, director Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego clearly has no understanding of character development or emotional investment. It was not until the third act of this film that I actually learned one of the characters names. And keep in mind, there are only two actors on screen for nearly 90% of the entire movie. Coming in at barely-feature length, this film still feels excruciatingly long at 86-minutes... with most of the film feeling like a bad science experiment on the audience. Everything we're witness to was supposedly filmed by 70's era film camera mounted on the lunar craft, or held by the protagonists... resulting in countless uncomfortable and claustrophobic shots, lens distortion and film grain - most of which shot on the barren wasteland of the moon in black-and-white. To say this film was nauseating and visually unappealing would be the understatement of cinema history. Even the editing curiously incorporates way to may shots of the decades-old film unspooling from it's thread... I get that the intention here is to make this fake footage look old and damaged... but as a recovered documentary made in present day, wouldn't these hiccups be cut from the final film? There is some semblance of a plot here, when the astronauts discover the remains of a Soviet craft on the moon, destroyed by an unknown alien life form. To think that the Soviets actually *did* land on the moon before us, and in secret, is an intriguing premise - and one that is completely ignored -- instead, we're meant to believe that moon rocks can sprout legs, and infect humans, causing them to go insane. (CLIP) It's no surprise that NASA chose to distance themselves from this wreck - it's missing characters, purpose, color, an ending, and even a soundtrack. The hokey tagline of the film reads, "There's a reason we've never gone back to the moon", when really someone should have told the producers -- "there's a reason Apollo 18 was canceled in the 70's...", Do yourself a favor and avoid this film... because, "Apparently Failure was an option". ~