Children of alcoholics and children of narcissists have wounds we deny that are killing us. We deny our wounds because our emotions and our pain have been ignored by the people we love.
Adult Children of alcoholics have pockets of pain they have been brainwashed to deny, minimize and tone down. Many ACoA's think "Oh my childhood wasn't that bad," and do not realize that NOT feeling seen has caused them to become anxious, codependent, love addicted, clingy, self-righteous, aloof, resentful, people-pleasing, and sometimes even narcissistic.
Codependency has many roots. Adult children of alcoholics tend to suffer from the dis-ease of codependent thinking. Adult children of alcoholics have lived unpredictable lives marked by denial, addictions, enabling, narcissism, and codependency. Adult children of alcoholics don't always recognize how their lives have been impacted by the alcoholism and often live in denial of just how dysfunctional their lives have been.
This video addresses some root causes of codependency and is spiritually based rather than clinically oriented.
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